We are one week into our second semester of graphic art in our new building the Liverpool
Art & Design Academy, which rather shockingly has been left to suffer the current horrendous LJMU brand. I think the building itself is fabulous. There is a palpable sense of positivity humming through our new studios and I have to say I feel quite proud walking in and out of it every day, saying to strangers and passers-by in my head: "Yes, I study here. How ace am I?"
I'm currently working on a group project which is proving to be a good balance of interesting, challenging, and fun. The breif is particularly open, a situation in which historically I flounder and often run aground. But why? I think I may have come closer to an explanation today.
As I was developing some ideas in a sketchbook I got to a point where I stopped dead and put my pen down. I had been collecting ideas, developing them, coming up with names, thinking about concepts, contexts, meaning, relevance and other such intangible efforts that seem to surreptitiously drain your energy.
I am a big fan of the Maltese philosopher
Edward de Bono (once again, Teddy if you're reading this, please contact me re: website redesign!). In his book "Thinking Course" he taught me that a search for alternatives is a cornerstone of creative thinking. This is of course obvious but what this really means is that we must never settle for the adequate, we should always be on the look-out for something better.
Let me get more to-the-point. I have been in the idea generation stage of the creative process for a couple of days and I have harvested a bunch of pretty decent ideas, a couple of which might be great solutions. I sit down with my sketchbook and what I realize is that I need to stop thinking and start doing. I need a threshold at which I have to sit back choose the best idea and run solely in that direction. This takes me back to the problems I usually have with an open brief: there are so many different avenues to explore, I have the entire universe with which to play, or so it seems, and this has led to pages and pages of great ideas but no movement towards a solution to the initial problem.
So I put my pen down and I reach this moment. If I carry on like this I'm never going to get anywhere. How can I begin to narrow down my seemingly infinite options? Then I start to understand: this is where my own personality comes in. This is where the artist comes out of me and yells "hey, this is what I think". But it doesn't. At least not in a very loud voice. It pops its head round my corner and says "whatever".
I have identified a serious weakness. I wouldn't say it is a lack of personality because to be fair I know a few people who make me look like Jonny Rotten. What it might be is a lack of direction. An unwillingness to move in a predictable way. A kind of creative inertia. The art school student in me wants to be positive (and horrendously post-modern) and say "it's just me refusing to conform to a traditional model of the art school student as a person with a strong social and political volition" but his head is way too far up his own arse.
I need to bring this back down to earth. What I think I have realised is that if I had a more forceful, opinionated personality then I would intuitively and autonomously remove some of the options, hence making it easier for me to act and break the inertia.
What is to be done? I can remember coming up against this problem a while back and it is truly an absurd one. I need to understand my personality and my own feelings in order to act, and I really invest a lot of energy in that very pursuit, (this blog being evidence) but it is obviously fruitless.
This only raises deeper questions about the nature of personality. Is personality only the intuitive, emotional side of our behaviour? In which case trying to intellectualize personality is pointless.
I decided to try and find out more about myself. I didn't book any tickets to Australia but I did go upstairs and asked my girlfriend if she could describe my personality in five words. First word was "huggable", not a good start. Second was "relaxed", I suppose that can't be bad. After this it was a real struggle, as I suspected. "You think too much" she said, finally. Hmmm...
I Googled "personality test" and clicked on one of the first links. It took me to
Human Metrics where I filled out a simple questionnaire. Eventually it told me that I am an
INFJ.
INFJ stands for Introverted iNtuition Feeling & Judging, with a big emphasis on judgement (89%) and is one of sixteen personality types originally observed by the legend of analytical psychology
C G Jung. As it turns out INFJ is an excellent description of me, or at least I think so. Aimée is an INFJ also, which means that we are two of the rarest personality types in the world (c. 1.5%).
I found myself reading the personality descriptions with amazement. Below is the Wikipedia description in full:
INFJs are conscientious and value-driven. They seek meaning in relationships, ideas, and events, with an eye toward better understanding themselves and others. Using their intuitive skills, they develop a clear vision, which they then execute decisively to better the lives of others. Like their INTJ counterparts, INFJs regard problems as opportunities to design and implement creative solutions.
INFJs are quiet, private individuals who prefer to exercise their influence behind the scenes. Although very independent, INFJs are intensely interested in the well-being of others. INFJs prefer one-on-one relationships to large groups. Sensitive and complex, they are adept at understanding complicated issues and driven to resolve differences in a cooperative and creative manner.
Accounting for 1–3% of the population, INFJs have a rich, vivid inner life, which they may be reluctant to share with those around them. Nevertheless, they are congenial in their interactions, and perceptive of the emotions of others. Generally well-liked by their peers, they may often be considered close friends and confidants by most other types. However, they are guarded in expressing their own feelings, especially to new people, and so tend to establish close relationships slowly. INFJs tend to be easily hurt, though they may not reveal this except to their closest companions. INFJs may "silently withdraw as a way of setting limits," rather than expressing their wounded feelings. This behavior may leave others confused and upset.
INFJs tend to be sensitive, quiet leaders with a great depth of personality. They are intricately and deeply woven, mysterious, and highly complex, sometimes puzzling even to themselves. They have an orderly view toward the world, but are internally arranged in a complex way that only they could understand. Abstract in communicating, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. With a natural affinity for art, INFJs tend to be creative and easily inspired. Yet they may also do well in the sciences, aided by their intuition.
It reads like my autobiography! Having said that I begin to doubt this dodgy internet questionnaire. On a lot of the questions I was kind of on the fence and there was no middle option. One of the questions read "you like to stand firmly by your principles" and I thought "I would if I knew what they were"! I take another unrelated test and it comes out with the exact same result.
N.B. if you take this test and are diagnosed "ESTP" then I guess you are my polar opposite and therefore my arch-nemesis.
Another description of INFJ:
The Counselor (INFJ) is a more private person than the Teacher. They, too, can be found in the field of education as a professor , teacher, counselor, or educational consultant. Sometimes they feel a strong calling toward the religious life as clergy, nun, or director of religious education. Social service jobs, such as social worker, social scientist, or mediator can fit their needs. Some Counselors work in human services, marketing, or as a job analyst. Others are drawn to the arts as a novelist, designer, or artist.
Seems like I have a few options available but how strange! I was just talking to a friend yesterday about how I would like to go into teaching! (Its actually a pretty good idea: one of my tutors recently told me about how a friend of his who runs a big international graphic design company had recently gone into liquidation and had to lay off two of our graduates, "but you're still getting paid" I thought).
I have, however, never considered becoming a nun.
So what can I say about my artistic direction now? How can I use this to defrost my Creative Inertia and start to move in a positive direction? The overriding trait has to be the humanistic angle, trying to get the best from people, helping people basically, making people's lives better. Hopelessly idealistic and sickeningly naiive as it seems, this is INFJ and this is who I am. I should be choosing the options that I think are going to naturally benefit people the most, but what's to say I wasn't already doing just that?
Another little segway: interesting how my high judgement percentage fits in with my zodiac sign of Libra. No matter how many scientific books I read for some reason I always keep a little zodiac widget on my Google page. I don't believe in horoscopic astrology or planetary alignment but I have always been interested in how naturally libran I am and like to see how close Mystic Meg's predictions are.